Эмоциональный интеллект

КТО СИДИТ ЗА РУЛЕМ ВАШЕГО АВТОМОБИЛЯ?

Вы никогда не задумывались, почему лань не обижается на тигра, пытающегося ее догнать и съесть? А тигра не мучают чувство вины и угрызения совести, если он все-таки эту лань не догнал?

☝️Знаете, я уже несколько лет плотно занимаюсь темой эмоционального интеллекта. И мне нравится мысль о том, что нет другой жизни, кроме эмоциональной. И за рулем нашего жизненного автомобиля сидит отнюдь не Логика! Она, в лучшем случае, пристроилась на пассажирском сиденье и пристально смотрит в карту.

А вот эмоции несут нас, куда глаза глядят. А уж если у руля обида! Или вина.

Обида и вина – не «естественные» эмоции, а словно специально созданные цивилизаций под нас, Homo Sapiens. Идеально подходящие под наши ожидания, убеждения и ценности.

👉А поскольку в «заводской комплектации» их не было, человек так до сих пор и не выработал механизм их природной переработки. Вот у страха этот механизм есть, у гнева есть, а у обиды – нет. Поэтому с ней так непросто работать.
Она плотно вплетена в нашу веру, в надежду, в любовь, еще Бог знает, во что. Ее невозможно просто продышать или выбегать, она гложет человека изнутри, становясь некой призмой, через которую мы смотрим на нашу жизнь.

И, продолжая автомобильную метафору, мы так и едем за рулем нашего жизненного автомобиля, глядя не вперёд, а повернув голову назад. Туда, куда нас магнитом тянет наша обида. Так что никакие мы не Sapiens, а вовсе даже Movere (от латинского – «двигаться»). Стремление к действию лежит в основе каждой эмоции.

👉Но это совсем не значит, что ничего нельзя сделать, и мы обречены вечно таскать нашу обиду с собой или, слегка удалившись, при любом похожем случае резко притягиваться её магнитом обратно.
«Природных» механизмов нет, зато есть чудесные, работающие, «цивилизованные» техники.

❗️Эмоциональная компетентность, как любой навык, вырабатывается, шлифуется и совершенствуется. Об этом написана масса книг и статей. Вы можете все это найти, прочесть и научиться сами. А можете прийти ко мне на курс по развитию эмоционального интеллекта и попробовать сделать это вместе.

наш спикер Ольга Лубяная.

Обновлено: 06.10.2020 — 06:31

23 комментария

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